How to Supersize Your Self-Image :

Are you constantly clobbering your self-esteem with your negative thoughts? Do you look in the mirror and tell yourself, “What a fat, ugly slob I am?” Wouldn’t it feel good to look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am beautiful?” Think about the impact each of these statements will have on your sense of self-worth.

The manner in which you interpret your life has an enormous effect on your self-esteem. Wouldn’t you like to start improving your self-image ?

Unfortunately (or fortunately), your internal dialogue alone has the power to reduce or enhance your sense of worth. Isn’t it reasonable then to use your voice to your advantage? We all have a voice within us that places value judgments upon ourselves and others. I call this voice the critical voice. This critical voice relies on what we call cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are ingrained deeply in our way of perceiving reality. Distortions are bad habits that we use to interpret reality in an irrational way -- causing nothing but trouble for our sense of self-worth.

These distorted thinking styles cut you off from reality in several ways: They are inaccurate and imprecise, they are judgmental, they are too general, they allow you only to see one side of a question (giving an imbalanced view of the world) and distortions are based solely on emotion rather than fact.

The following are two common examples of cognitive distortions. Let’s see where your challenge may lay:

1. Overgeneralization. Taking one event and making a general rule out of it. For example, if you cook a meal and your partner tells you (s)he doesn’t care for the potatoes, you automatically tell yourself you will never be able to cook well and nobody will ever like your cooking. Ridiculous, right?

   To overcome this distortion, you have to first get rid of the absolutes: “never,” “all,” “every,” “nobody,” “always,” “everybody,” etc. Also, avoid statements about the future, because you have no way of predicting the future.

2. Filtering. You have a tendency to view certain negative facts as abstract from reality -- and pay attention only to them. For example, you cook a meal for your partner and (s)he says, “I love the steak and potatoes, but the salad dressing is a bit too salty.” You feel incompetent and let down because of the salad, rather than paying attention to the compliments. You are too busy filtering the conversation for the criticism.

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