Easing Separation Anxiety in Toddlers :

My 23-month-old daughter becomes upset and clings to my body at daycare, an activity or any time she is dropped-off or when I try to leave. I'm at a loss for what to do. Can you please help us?

This is usually a normal stage of development for toddlers. If you have to spend more than 15 minutes trying to calm her down, then separation anxiety is probably the culprit.

Toddlers, and even some preschoolers up to age three and a half, will display fears of separation anxiety by becoming clingy, starting to cry and even going into a full-blown meltdown when a parent tries to leave. Unfortunately, it fills a parent with a huge dose of guilt and leaves both the child and parent emotionally and physically exhausted, stressed and frustrated. Here are some things that might help.

Creative bedtime stories: At least three times a week, make up stories of a little girl who is going to be away from her parents and explain how much fun she will have. Within your story, use the name of a person, place or maybe a name of a favorite activity that your child will come to recognize. Try using a descriptive title for her special time.

For example, play dates, play groups or an activity, can be called "Jamie's Playtime." In the story, say, "Tomorrow, Jamie will get to go to her Jamie's Playtime in Miss Katie's class. She will have a wonderful time playing with all her friends! Her best friend, Sara will be there too..."

Sleepy time: Be sure that your daughter is getting enough sleep. A well-rested child is usually much more cooperative in the mornings. However, don't turn on the TV or you will be stuck in getting her to do much else than watching it. Playing favorite music seems to work best and gets everyone in a good mood.

Stay calm: Don’t listen to guilt. If you know that your child will be fine and will actually benefit from her activity or experience, try to stay positive. It’s imperative that as the parent, you stay assured and confident of the endeavor. If the child sees an upset parent, it will only heighten the emotional roller-coaster and add additional tension.

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