How to Be a Hot Mama :

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Motherhood is the ultimate manifestation of becoming a sexual being -- from the act of conceiving itself, giving birth, breastfeeding, having swollen breasts and hormones in overdrive. Just as our culture demands women to be either mother or career woman, it also makes an arbitrary decision to cut us off from our sexuality once we become mothers. Women are not allowed to be Mama, professional, as well as a sexual person.

We all know that mothers are not sexual, right? How absurd! If anything, we as women become more sexual, more sexually confident and more in-tuned with our own sexual capacity when we are pregnant.

Today, women are getting married later, making more money and delaying our reproductive capacities, but we are also experiencing our sexuality more deeply and more pleasurably. As opposed to the incongruous title of "domestic goddess" that implies a natural female proclivity for household work (yeah, right!) or the all encompassing, self-sacrificing "Superwoman" — “Hot Mama” reflects the uncompromised woman who does not compartmentalize her life, but celebrates the fluidity of femininity without demanding one overall standard of what it means to be pregnant and sexy. A Hot Mama embodies a sense of pride, prowess and a go get ‘em attitude that says "I am a sexual creature." In addition to the pressure to sacrifice your sexuality during pregnancy, social norms can also serve up a classic catch-22 when it comes to your career, further exacerbating the situation. Sometimes it feels you will need to slow your career to start a family and, therefore, take the risk that you will never catch up, or on the flipside, embrace the "male model" of single-minded career focus, resulting in “an epidemic of childlessness" among professional women according to some studies.

What a nightmare. Women sacrificing having babies for their careers and vice versa. Conclusion: In order for women to be serious breadwinners, we must give up our hopes for having it all… Or do we? Do we really have to choose one over the other? No!

From limits in health insurance coverage, lack of adequate and affordable child care, poor maternity and paternity leave programs and archaic laws that categorize pregnant women in the workplace as "disabled," the real epidemic is that our society simply does not support the multiplicity of femininity, as well as the idea of family in general. There is nothing biological about being forced to choose either/or, rather than "yes to all of the above!" What we need now is for our social institutions, cultural expectations and in some cases our male partners to come up to speed.

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