Moving Past Self-Destructive Tendencies :

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Life has its sets of twists and turns, but we learn to be flexible. When things seem hopeless and we feel that we can't adapt anymore, we reach out for help. I remember dealing with a very personal issue in my life. It seemed as though I just couldn't defeat it alone. I went to my pastor, who was also a trusted friend. I laid that issue out to him. Through prayer and the process of confronting that issue, I gained victory. The lesson that I learned from that experience was that before something overtakes you, you get help. We all know when something has become unbearable or sense the feelings of sinking into oblivion.Don't allow yourself to live in isolation. We all need somebody. We love ourselves, but we still have the need to be affirmed by others. It feels good to hear, "I love you" or "thank you." You aren't alone in this world; somebody loves you. We all have something to offer -- a gift, talent, an experience, love or a helping hand. Everybody loves and admires someone; somebody needs you. Life wouldn't be the same without you. Feeling alone in a crowded room or in an empty house? Find someone inspiring to talk with or help to meet a need. When we give of ourselves, life can be an oasis .

Learning to deal with shame and guilt is a crucial part of coping with life's struggles. As we look back over our lives, we all have hurt people and we've all been hurt in some way. We can all think of things we regret doing. We can strive to make amends. Forgiving yourself is a crucial step. Do we know anybody who has not made mistakes in life? We all have. Start doing good things and helping someone, and let good deeds outweigh failures and injuries to others.

We have to learn to deal with our emotional engine. When we let our emotional engine run hard, then we often turn to self-destructive tendencies.

Overcome your pain with good -- show somebody some love, and let it brighten your day. When you outlive the pain, you will be glad you didn't give up.

Here are some strategies you can do if you find yourself in a self-destructive cycle:

1. Don't be alone. This is not the time for isolation. Spend time with a clergy, therapist, parent, sibling, friend or any positive adult.

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