Great Conversations with the Greatest Generation :

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Do you fall into that common trap of talking about the weather and health problems every time you talk to mom or dad on the phone or in person? Or do you slide with them into worrying about family finances, today's headlines and when Aunt Martha is going to get her knee replacement? If you are a daily caregiver for your mom or dad, do you think regularly that there is nothing left to talk about -- and if you hear that "same old story" you're going to scream? If mom or dad lives in a nursing home or retirement community, are you a clock watcher and can't wait to end your visit after just 10 minutes? Well, you're not alone. If any of these situations fits you, then it's time to step back and make some changes so conversations can be more meaningful for both you and your parent or parents. After all, there's no sense wasting time, and they still have much to give and share.

The next time you see mom or dad, it's time to empower them to reminisce in a new way -- with a bit more structure than just stories swapped around the dinner table. You see, it's important for you to take the lead on this and ASK them questions that typically don't come up in normal conversation. Most will be happy to answer if you can genuinely show you're interested. I know it may be hard to believe, but it might even be fun for you to transport them to a different time and place that only they can share through the questions you pose. These are things that you may have never discussed before, or maybe you have but you'd like to hear the story again and maybe actually record and preserve it this time.

The key thing is to realize that their stories are an incredible gift to you, and it's important for parents or grandparents to know that you actually WANT that gift badly. So you might be thinking you don't want the gift of their stories right now because you've heard it so many times or you're busy (or that you'll always remember that story so there is no need to write it down), but too many people regret not capturing the stories while they had a chance, and they find it difficult to remember the details of the stories later, no matter how hard they try. So many people tell me... "If only I would have written some of those stories down."

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