Kissing Sucks? :

What do you think about a guy who won’t kiss? His only explanation is “kissing sucks.” I am not sure what is going on here. What is your perspective on this?

The Love Doctor® Answers:
There are many different ways to kiss another person. We all recognize that the type of kiss you choose to give someone and how long the kiss lasts, says a lot about what you desire and the type of relationship you are interested in. Indeed, a kiss says a lot.

In romantic relationships, kissing is an intimate behavior between two people that expresses affection and caring for the other person. After some time in a romantic relationship, most people have a desire to kiss and show affection toward their partner. If someone doesn’t want to kiss a dating or relationship partner, it typically means one of the following: a) they aren’t yet ready for that kind of relationship, b) they are afraid of showing affection because of a painful past relationship or c) they aren’t skilled in the art of kissing.

In your case, I don’t know how long you have known this guy, but it definitely sounds like he is afraid of what the act of “kissing” will mean to him or to you. Plus, his explanation of why he doesn’t want to kiss (“it sucks”) suggests that he may have been hurt or betrayed in the past. After a betrayal, you are certainly less open to love in the future.

This guy is still hurting from a previous relationship and is carrying that baggage with him into your relationship. He has built a definite barrier or wall to intimacy and closeness with you.

Here’s how I would proceed. Instead of using his way of behaving and demeanor to gauge what is happening between the two of you, just ask yourself the following three questions: 1) do you want to share your deepest thoughts and feelings with him? 2) do you care about him -- feeling more affection for him than you do for most others? and 3) do you trust and respect him? These are all intimate behaviors, which tell you something about the level of intimacy and closeness you feel for this guy.

When you do engage in the act of kissing here are 4 Simple Kissing Tips to remember:

1. Good breath is very important. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on your date. If you eat before the actual kiss, remember to have a mint or gum on hand to take right after you finish eating. Finish the mint or gum before you actually do the kissing.

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