You Can't Hurry Love: Savor the Wait :

My friend was over for dinner the other night. She's an attractive, intelligent, successful -- and single -- woman. Over dessert, she said she wished that she had met that special person to share her life with and raise children.

But for one reason or another, she hasn’t met Mr. Right.

Emily (all names are changed to protect identities) finished her glass of wine and tossed a shining lock of chestnut hair behind her ear, her sky-blue eyes softened in thought.

“I’m 45 years old now, but that does not mean I’m giving up hope,” she mused. “The situation just hasn’t presented itself to me.”

I have many friends in their late 30s and 40s like Emily, who are beautiful, hold good jobs and generally have their wits about them. They enjoy a plethora of interests and love to hike, read, paint, write, volunteer -- you name it -- to derive a sense of fulfillment in life . Yet, these real catches remain single. It’s partly by choice. I myself have found that the busier I am, the more I choose to spend what free time I get with people who are really worth that precious time. I don’t have the energy to spend time with just any guy to avoid being alone. And my friends are in agreement.

Yet that doesn’t change the fact there’s that yearning for love inside us.

Knowing we are loveable and desirable, but it’s just not our time for love -- or whatever the reason may be that we are still single -- is not always enough to stave off those feelings of panic or sadness. Yet the worst thing to do is to become bitter, cynical and assume that all men are lousy anyway, so why even bother to care.

I have another friend named Laura who makes for a beautiful love story. She’s an artist and freelance writer and works long hours from home to make ends meet. For the past few years I have known her, she has never mentioned men, dating or has had any interest (or time) to. In fact, she once confided in me that she is afraid to love, afraid to get hurt and actually grapples with the fear that she has the inability to love.

Out of the blue, a month ago, I get an email from her that says, “When I am in John’s arms, I feel like I woke up from a long dream.”

John is this rather shy guy she met during one of her artist retreats a few years ago and who she regularly sees on outings. Apparently he had a crush on her. He decided to go for it and ask her for a date. She agreed to a date, and whammo! They completely hit it off.

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